Woooo Hello loyal pawns,
This is Ross Cook-Golesh and I just got my first taste of what living on Groupons will be like for the next year!
It is a beautiful day in Chicago, my first time in the city. The ride in was pretty intimidating and overwhelming. My awesome Swedish Die Hard villain driver pointed out the landmarks, explained the history, and we discussed our thoughts of the future of our world. He dropped me off in front of Groupon headquarters and wished me luck.
I made it to the top floor and to my embarrassment, and confusion, was greeted by the busy staff with a round of applause. We walked around the building and met all kinds of shockingly young and not disgruntled (???) employees. After my brief interrogation I was handed three Groupons. One for the Hancock Observatory, one for Americas Hotdog Shop, and one for a free manicure/pedicure. After some personal difficulties with the elevator, I was off to explore the city.
I first made my way to the Hancock Observatory, about twenty or so blocks from the headquarters. Having absolutely no idea of where I was, I had to look to the skyline and follow the antennas like the gold, incense, and murr, fellas followed the star in the Christmas story. I had to stop and take pictures along the way, true to my photo nerd ways. Chicago is beautiful so it made my journey somewhat slow going, but I literally bumped into the Observatory with my camera trying to grasp the size of the building.
I redeemed my Groupon at the front desk and boarded the fastest elevator in the world. The view at the top blew my mind. I am absolutely flabbergasted by the size and diversity of this city. Big buildings and commerce at one side, suburbs and small businesses at another, the largest fresh water lake in the world with fishing boats as far as the eye can see. I could have spent hours up there taking in the view, but my time was running out and I still hadn’t gotten a grasp for the area. I noticed a couple sitting together when I got to the cafe area looking over a map. I walked over and explained my mission, and they were more than happy to help me find my next location. Victor and Brianna were visitors to the area from California, but we figured out that I needed to catch a bus south to Millennium Park. Not knowing which bus to take I struck up a conversation with a film major named Jennifer. She explained that pretty much any bus at the spot I was at would take me to Millennium Park and in exchange for my mani/pedi Groupon, she took care of my bus fare.
I stopped at Millennium Park and had absolutely no idea where to go. I ran to the closest cab driver and gave him the address and he pointed me on my way. The Americas Hotdog was about five blocks down. I wish I had time to go super into detail about meeting Jeff, an amazing local insurance man, but I will summarize. After explaining myself, he agreed to take one of my two hotdogs, pay for my tax, and then bought me a fountain drink as well. We got our order for sit down and launched in to a great 35-40 minute conversation about the city, the strict hotdog rules like NK17 (No Ketchup over 17 years of age), the essential components to a Chicago style dog, which if I can remember are, celery salt, poppy seeds, sport peppers, pickles, onion, mustard, and most importantly Vienna brand hotdogs. He told me the history of the dog, including its old location next to the old one square mile stock yard, and its accidental smoking process. Then he explained the Chicago fires, and how they made the checkerboard grid in the city possible. I gave him my email address and he sent me his contact information for a future tour of the city. Jeff was the man, if you’re reading this I will definitely look you up, thank you so much. I got back to Groupon safe and sound.
That’s all for now everyone. Thanks for reading, I have to catch my ride back to the airport like now!
Love,
Rossssssssssssssssssssssssssss